


if i ain't got nothing, least i got you

by firefall



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Ambiguous Relationships, And People Being Really Upset By Said Epiphanies, Best Friends, Camping, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Growing Up, Multi, Pining, Polyamory Negotiations, Romantic Epiphanies, School Dances, Soft Gentle Boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-12-14 19:49:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11790228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firefall/pseuds/firefall
Summary: Jenna has asked Josh to do many strange things over the years, but nothing could prepare him for the day she plopped herself into the seat across from him in the cafeteria and told him, “I want you to go to the dance with Tyler.”Josh blinks at her, spoonful of Froot Loops halfway to his mouth.  “You want me to go to the dance with your boyfriend,” he repeats, because he can’t be hearing this right.  “Your boyfriend.  Tyler.”





	if i ain't got nothing, least i got you

**Author's Note:**

> This is inspired by the time my friend asked me to go to the dance with her boyfriend. Go figure. And if you're wondering what kind of college has dances, the answer is: tiny Midwestern ones. Go figure that, too.
> 
> I've just realized that my last three (3) pilots fics are Uni AU's so...........sorry I guess? I've got a couple WIPs up my sleeve and none of them happen at college, so hopefully those see the light of day eventually. Here's hoping!
> 
> Warnings for: some swearing, crying, and oblivious boys.
> 
> Title is from "Your Love" by Little Mix. Buy Glory Days on iTunes.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own anyone portrayed in this fic and am making no judgments about their characters or personal lives. Tyler, Josh, and Jenna belong to themselves and probably also each other.

Jenna has asked Josh to do many strange things over the years, including but not limited to: helping pluck her eyebrows, swallowing her gum for her because _it tastes nasty but I don’t wanna spit it on the ground_ , and pretending to be her dad at a restaurant so she could get the child’s discount.  But nothing could prepare him for the day she plopped herself into the seat across from him in the cafeteria and told him, “I want you to go to the dance with Tyler.”

Josh blinks at her, spoonful of Froot Loops halfway to his mouth.  “You want me to go to the dance with your boyfriend,” he repeats, because he can’t be hearing this right.  “Your boyfriend.  Tyler.”

Jenna, for her part, just nods matter-of-factly.  Like they’re talking about the weather or classes or something.  “Yeah, you know the one?  Yea high—”  She gestures an inch-and-a-half above her head.  “—and about 83 pounds?  That Tyler.”

“He’s at least a buck-thirty,” Josh says because he’s a good friend and Tyler isn’t there to defend himself.  “Why aren’t _you_ going with him?”

“My sister’s got a baby shower and I can’t miss it.  Something about _you only have your first kid once_ – which, logistically speaking, is very true.”  Jenna laughs a little.  “We got tickets ages ago and you and I both know he’s going to waste them watching Netflix in his bed all night if someone doesn’t kick him in the ass.”

Josh’s cereal is getting soggy.  He pokes at it with the spoon, nose wrinkled.  “And I’m that someone,” he says, but it’s not a question.  If there’s one thing he’s learned at college it’s that Jenna always gets her way.  _Always_.

“Yep!” she says brightly.  “So what do you say, Joshie?”

“I’m in,” Josh agrees.  “But you owe me a bowl of Froot Loops.”

_-_-_-_

 

When Josh first met Tyler and Jenna he was crying in the back of GenEd Biology.  He hadn’t slept at all the night before and had skipped breakfast to print out an essay in the library, so his eyes were gritty and his body was weak and his stomach felt like it was going to cave in on itself.  “Homeostasis,” his Bio professor had said, pointing at the whiteboard, and tears instantly started pouring down Josh’s cheeks because it wasn’t _fair_.  That word was too fucking big.

“Dude,” the boy next to him had said, dark eyes wide with concern.  “Are you okay?”

“No,” Josh had squeaked, swiping the back of his hand across his runny nose.  He was too tired to lie.  “I think I’m gonna be sick.”

Worried, the boy gestured that Josh should pack up his things and then took Josh by the wrist, quietly leading him from the lecture hall.  A blonde girl followed them out, digging her car keys from her purse and aiming the remote at the parking lot until they heard a cheerful little _beep_.  Josh had never talked to them before, but he still climbed into the backseat of the girl’s car and let them drive him to the dining hall.  It wasn’t until they were feeding him crackers and apple juice – easy on the stomach, but enough to make him feel almost human again – that he learned their names.  The boy was Tyler and the girl was Jenna and they’d been dating since high school.

“I’m Josh,” he’d told them, cheeks going a little pink now that he was alert enough to register what had happened.  “And I’m an idiot.”

They’d waved off his embarrassment and even taught him homeostasis before the next exam.  He didn’t shed a single tear the second time around.

But now it’s four years later and Josh is in the back of Abnormal Psychology, tapping his fingers against the tabletop as he waits for Tyler to show up.  He gets there a minute before class starts just like he always does, flopping into the seat next to Josh and leaving a fleeting touch of his knuckles against Josh’s shoulder.  “Hey man,” he greets, smile so big it bares crooked teeth to the world.  “Missed you.”

Josh could point out that they’d seen each other barely two hours ago, passing bottles of shampoo and body wash back and forth over the shower stall because Tyler had run out and couldn’t buy more until he got paid.  He could say that, but he doesn’t.  Instead he grins back, his stomach filling with happy warmth, and says, “Come to the dance with me, Ty.”

“Okay,” Tyler says easily, lugging his textbook from his backpack and letting it fall onto the desk with a _smack_ that echoes through the classroom.  Everyone turns to look at him but he doesn’t even notice.  “Jenna can’t come anyway…you can have her ticket.”

Josh knows that, but he pretends he doesn’t.  Having a secret with Jenna is fun.  “Thanks,” he tells Tyler and he means it.  “I’ll pay you for it.”

“Don’t you fucking dare,” Tyler threatens and then class starts.  Josh’s elbow knocks into Tyler’s a grand total of sixteen times before the professor dismisses them.

_-_-_-_

 

Josh has never been to a dance before.  Even his private Christian school prom had been off-limits, his parents shaking their heads at the music and the necklines of the girls’ dresses, so he feels a bit like a fish out of water as Jenna drags him and Tyler from rack to rack in search of the perfect dress shirts.  “You’re representing me,” she says, tossing aside perfectly nice shirts in disgust.  “So you need to look amazing.”

“No one’s going to be looking at us, Jen,” Tyler protests and Josh secretly agrees.  He doesn’t speak up, though – he doesn’t have a death wish.  “We only have, like, three friends.  And two of them are going in jeans.”

“Don’t mention Mark and Michael to me.”  Jenna shoves a pale yellow shirt at Tyler and he winces when it rams into his chest.  “I’m trying to pretend they don’t exist.”

Next, a black shirt and a bowtie the same yellow as Tyler’s shirt come flying at Josh’s head.  He just barely catches them before they hit the ground, making Tyler snort a laugh.  “She’s gone nuts,” he says, laying a commiserating hand on Josh’s shoulder.  “We’ll get through this together.”

They’re pushed into two separate dressing rooms before Josh can answer.

Begrudgingly, Josh has to admit that the shirt looks nice.  But when he goes to put the tie on, he ends up with a tangled mess and a simmering frustration in the pit of his stomach.  After a couple more futile attempts, he sighs a long sigh and pokes his head out the door.  “Help me?” he pleads, pouting at Jenna.  “I’m gonna strangle myself.”

She steps into the dressing room with him, the fire in her eyes replaced with something soft.  “You look good,” she tells him as she does the tie up with expert fingers.  “Good enough that I’m not even gonna make fun of you for being twenty-two and unable to dress yourself.”

“You still kinda did,” Josh points out, but he doesn’t mind.  Her hands are on his shoulders now and they’re warm.

“I guess I did.”  Jenna grins, lip caught between her teeth.  “How can I make it up to you?”

Josh only has to think for a second.  “Paint my nails right before you go home?  I wanna have them nice for the dance.”

“You got it, babe,” she agrees and then she’s fluttering next door to make sure Tyler’s outfit meets with her approval.  From the _hey boy_ he hears through the thin wall, it must.  There’s a quick kissing sound, too, that makes Josh’s ears pink up.  His friends are gross in the best way possible and sometimes it makes Josh’s heart hurt.

 They do end up going with the yellow, but Jenna won’t let them see each other.  “That way you can be surprised the night of,” she explains and Josh accepts it without protest.  Jenna knows way more about dances than he does anyway.

“But what if Josh faints when he sees how handsome I am?” Tyler exclaims, a hand to his heart in faux concern.  He bats his eyelashes.  “Just fucking keels over dead when I walk down the winding staircase?  He needs a little warning, don’t you think?”

Josh bats at him, cuffs him gently across the face with the heel of his hand.  “Shut up,” he laughs.  “If anyone’s walking down a staircase to romantic violin music it’s me.”

“We’re gonna be the cutest couple there,” Tyler says decisively and Jenna nods her agreement, blue eyes bright.

_-_-_-_

 

The last few days before the Senior dance pass quickly, a whirlwind of classes and library books and students clinging to each other as the end of their four years approaches.  Josh is trying not to think about it, savoring each moment with his friends as much as he can.  Tyler sits too close to Josh in their Psych class, elbow nudged all the way up against Josh’s spiral as he tries to take notes, and Jenna spends every dinner with her foot hooked behind Josh’s ankle, so he thinks they feel it, too.  Everything’s about to change and it _aches_.

But before that, they have the dance.

And before _that_ , Jenna paints Josh’s nails, just like she promised. 

She’s got a jar of white polish in one hand and a bottle of remover in the other, a bag of cotton balls clenched in her teeth.  “Hey,” she greets as she pushes into his dorm room, the cotton balls falling from her mouth to the floor.  “Got those pretty hands ready for me?”

It makes Josh laugh.  “Something like that.”

Not wasting any time, she flops to the floor in front of him and situates his hand on her knee, pulling the hem of her athletic shorts up just a bit so as not to spill polish on them.  Then she sets to work, tongue poking out of her mouth as she concentrates on getting it just right.  It’s as she’s running the brush over his pinky fingernail that she asks, tone light, “Are you going to slow dance with him?”

Josh coughs for a second before he gets his bearings.  “I was meaning to ask—um,” he flounders, awkward and pathetic and bright red.  Thankfully, Jenna doesn’t look up, just keeps painting and smudging away the excess polish with the corner of her thumb.  “What’s the—is that allowed?”

“Of course,” Jenna says, unbothered.  She pauses to blow warm air over his fingers.  Josh shivers.  “Do whatever you’d normally do at a dance.  Tyler’s your date – you better treat him sweet, Joshua.”

“I’ve literally seen that boy puke into a shoe box…I think my _sweetness_ has disappeared for him a bit,” Josh jokes, letting her maneuver his other hand into her lap.

“I manage it.”

“Yeah, well, you’re his _girlfriend_ ,” Josh reminds her.

Jenna only hums in answer, her nose crinkled up like he’s said something dumb.  He doesn’t get much of an opportunity to be confused, though, because she finishes his nails quickly and then sits back to admire her handiwork.  “Gorgeous,” she says, impressed with herself, and Josh agrees.  He already feels prettier.  “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a boyfriend to make out with and then a plane to catch.  Have fun at the dance!”

With that, she leans in to smack a loud kiss to his cheek and twirls out of his room, a blur of blonde.

Josh’s nails dry right around the time Jenna’s done telling Tyler goodbye.  He only knows this because Tyler shows up in his doorway, hair a mess and lips bright red.  “Did you come to gloat?” Josh teases him, gesturing at his rumpled appearance.

“Nope,” Tyler says, making a beeline for Josh and falling against him, nose and mouth taking up residence in the crook of Josh’s neck.  “Came to pout.  I hate it when she leaves.”

All mirth quickly disappears and Josh brings an arm up to rub his back.  “I know,” he says quietly and he wonders if Jenna has any idea how many nights Tyler has spent curled up in Josh’s bed, hands clenched into fists and jaw tight.  His secret’s safe with Josh.  “Let’s go get ice cream.”

They only have enough spare change between them to get one ice cream cone, but it’s okay.  They take turns licking it, racing against the clock and the warm, spring sun as it tries to drip all over their hands.  One particularly emphatic lick has Tyler pulling away with vanilla on his nose, giggling and rolling his eyes at himself.  “ _Ew_ ,” he says, wiping it on the sleeve of Josh’s t-shirt, all traces of sadness gone.

Josh should care – should shout _c’mon dude!_ and shove him off – but he _can’t_ , because looking at Tyler is like looking at the stars and there’s not a single thing Josh wouldn’t put up with.

“ _Tyler_ ,” he says raggedly and then stops, words failing him.

“I like your nails,” is what Tyler says in answer.

_-_-_-_

 

Tyler doesn’t walk down a winding staircase to romantic violin music, but he does walk out of his dorm room just as his roommate has a sneezing fit, so it’s almost the same thing.  Either way, he’s so handsome Josh’s breath catches in his throat.  The yellow of his shirt is beautiful against his tan skin – Jenna really hit it out of the park with that one – and his black suit jacket hangs on him perfectly despite the way he keeps smoothing it down with nervous hands.

“Dude,” Josh says concisely, like an idiot.  “Wow.”

Tyler’s face is red.  “I know I look like an asshole, okay?  Just…shut up.”

“What?” Josh cries, momentarily stunned that Tyler could be so _wrong_.  For being the smartest person Josh has ever known, he’s pretty fucking stupid.  “No, no, no – that’s not what I meant!  You look really great, Ty.”

The corners of Tyler’s eyes scrunch up in suspicion.  “Really?”

“Really,” Josh promises and then he throws caution to the wind and presses a kiss to Tyler’s cheek.

When he pulls away, Tyler is grinning, pleased.  “Okay,” he says, deciding to believe Josh for once in his life.  “You look great, too!  Did you tie that all by yourself?”  He points at the yellow bowtie, impressed.

“Found a tutorial on YouTube,” Josh admits, laughing sheepishly.  “Took almost half an hour, but I managed it.”

“My date’s a fucking genius,” Tyler decides, reaching over to take Josh’s hand.  He doesn’t just stop there, though – he laces their fingers together.  “Gonna have the best damn bowtie in the whole school.”

The dance is in the field house, the athletic center all dressed up to sparkle and shine.  “This feels like prom,” Tyler mutters under his breath as they walk in, voice almost lost under the pounding of the bass.

“Yeah, except we’re all legal now and no one can stop us from getting smashed,” Josh points out, wiggling his eyebrows up and down.

“You know that’s right.”

Except they don’t get smashed.  In fact, neither of them has so much as a taste, opting instead to make their rounds at the picture displays along the walls of the gym.  Someone’s put in a lot of work, collecting pictures from Facebook and Twitter and campus events, pasting them on a bunch of bright pink tri-folds.  There doesn’t seem to be any pictures of them – “It’s ‘cause we don’t have friends,” Tyler says cheerfully – but finally at the last poster they find one of Jenna, tucked in the very bottom corner.  It’s from sophomore year, at one of their intramural dodgeball games.  Jenna’s grinning at the camera, eyes full of excitement, and she has _Tyler_ scrawled across her forehead in green paint.  Her right cheek says _Josh_ in blue.

“Best cheerleader ever,” Tyler says offhandedly, his voice soft.  His eyes are, too.

“We absolutely fucking _sucked_ , but she came to every game anyway,” Josh remembers.  “That’s dedication.  Michael didn’t even do that and he was _on_ the team.”

After a furtive glance around, Tyler carefully peels the picture from the tri-fold and tucks it into the pocket of his slacks.  “Mine now,” he whispers and Josh doesn’t scold him.  The picture feels too personal, too private and special for their entire class to be looking at.  It’s a part of their history, just like pancakes at midnight and doodled smiley faces on the backs of hands and crying in Biology.  Maybe Josh will ask Tyler for a copy of the photo later.

They’ve looked at every poster, but their hearts are soft and they soon find themselves reminiscing, throwing out little anecdotes from the past.  They’ve just finished giggling about the time Jenna’s dad took them waterskiing and Josh lost his shorts in the lake when Tyler’s face goes suddenly stormy and sad.  “I can’t believe we’re leaving in two weeks,” he whispers.  “I’m not ready.”

It twists in Josh’s stomach and squeezes at his lungs like an angry fist.  “Try not to think about it,” he says a little desperately, partly to comfort Tyler but mostly because he can’t talk about it right now.  He doesn’t need to add “Senior Dance” to the list of places he’s cried on campus.  “That’s fourteen days – we can do all kinds of things in fourteen days.”

“Like fail my finals,” Tyler groans, but even that isn’t enough to dissipate the cloud of quiet and soft that has fallen over them. 

“Not gonna fail,” Josh promises him, then bites his lip and takes Tyler’s hand in his.  “And just because school’s gonna end, it doesn’t mean we have to.  We only live a couple hours away…we’ll figure it out.”

“Shut up,” Tyler orders but it’s gentle.  He’s just overwhelmed, which is something Josh will always, _always_ understand.  “Let’s go dance.”

As soon as they step onto the dance floor, the DJ puts on something slow.  “Of course,” Tyler snorts, but hooks his arms around Josh’s neck anyways.  Josh settles his hands on Tyler’s waist, his hipbones sharp even through the suit jacket.  Together they sway, lulled into a dream-like state by the soothing music and the warmth of their bodies pressed close.

“Your hair’s tickling me,” Tyler says quietly and suddenly Josh wants to kiss him so badly his entire body goes hot.  Because Tyler has sharp elbows and sharp hips and soft words and soft eyes and he’s Josh’s best friend in the _entire_ world.  If he has to be at a stupid dance just two weeks before the future begins, he’s glad it’s with Tyler. 

Everything’s less scary with Tyler.

A bit dazed, Josh hides his burning face in Tyler’s shoulder and leaves it there.  The slow song turns into two slow songs and then three, their movements getting more and more sluggish by the second.  Soon they’re nearly melted together, and Josh hears himself say through the static in his ears, “Tyler.”

“Josh,” he says back and that is that.

That’s the last slow song and they spend the rest of the night downing cans of Mountain Dew and excitedly belting out the lyrics to two Fall Out Boy songs that play back-to-back.  Mark and Michael show up in their jeans and instantly join in, pulling out their worst dance moves and acting remarkably wasted for a couple of sober guys.  It’s fun and it’s easy and though there’s an ache in Josh’s chest every time he looks over at Tyler, it’s manageable.  He may not be able to kiss him, but he can throw an arm around his shoulders whenever he wants and that’s almost as good.

“Best dance ever!” Tyler shouts at some point and that’s even better.

_-_-_-_

 

Josh wakes up with happy warmth in his belly and Tyler’s hair in his nose.  The second thing makes him snuffle, scooting away from his friend until he’s pressed up against the cool cinderblock wall of their dorm.  It makes Tyler whine in protest, a high-pitched sound escaping from his nose in a puff of air.

“Come back,” he mumbles, more awake than Josh originally thought he was.  “I’m _cold_.”

Josh huffs a laugh, throat still scratchy from sleep.  “Maybe if you’d worn clothes to bed like I told you to, you wouldn’t be in this situation.”

“Too tired,” Tyler says and it makes Josh smile to himself.  By the time they’d gotten back to the dorms last night, Tyler had only had enough energy to plead _sleep in my room?_ before he flopped face down on the bed and passed out.  It was a miracle he’d managed to leave his suit in a heap on the floor.  “Besides, ‘m wearin’ undies.”

Josh rolls his eyes.  “C’mon then,” he says softly, pulling Tyler in until his face is buried in Josh’s neck.  He hasn’t shaved since Jenna left, so the sparse smattering of hair on his chin scratches against Josh’s skin.  Josh finds he doesn’t mind.  “I’ll warm you up.  But if I choke on your hair again, I’m shoving you out of this bed.”

It’s a lie and they both know it’s a lie, but Tyler murmurs “Fair enough” anyway.

It doesn’t take long for Tyler to fall back asleep, the rise and fall of his back a comforting rhythm beneath Josh’s hands.  Josh tries to follow his lead, but his mind is racing and he’s got his arms full of a sleepy, beautiful boy and it doesn’t work.  He’s wide awake.

So he rests his chin on top of Tyler’s head and gets his phone out, settling in for the long haul.  He has a message from Jenna, sent early that morning: _How was the dance?_

Josh’s heart stutters in his chest and he swallows hard, not quite sure what the etiquette is when you’ve realized you’re a little bit in love with your best girl’s boyfriend.  If there is such an etiquette, it’s managed to elude him all these years.  But Josh loves Jenna – and he knows she loves him, too – so he does his best.  _Great_ , he texts back.  _Missed you though._

A couple minutes later she sends a _good!!!_ followed by a bunch of smiley faces, so she must have missed the crisis written between the lines.  Relief floods Josh’s stomach.  Maybe, just this once, he’ll manage not to fuck everything up.

He can do this.

_-_-_-_

 

He can’t do this.

Josh isn’t one to blame other people for his shortcomings, but he thinks he can say with complete honesty that it’s all Tyler’s fault.  Here Josh was, dead set on acting calm and normal and not at all like he wants to kiss his best friend, and Tyler had to go and bring him coffee for their Psych study session.  And create a four-hour Spotify playlist of songs to help him sleep.  And doodle lopsided stars all over Josh’s Lit Theory notes.

“So they don’t look so scary,” Tyler had explained, capping a yellow marker and popping the top off a pink one instead.  “Look, now Foucault is blue.”

Suffice it to say that Josh is miserable.

Which is why, the first day of finals week and four days before they graduate, Josh marches into Jenna’s dorm room without knocking, flops down on the middle of her floor, and wails, “I’m miserable!”

She barely looks up from the Dr. Seuss book she’s reading.  It’s _The Sleep Book_ and the irony isn’t lost on him.  “And why’s that, babe?”

“Because of _you_ ,” he says and it’s an accusation but it’s also a desperate plea for comfort.  He curls his hands into fists and bangs them against the carpet.  “You did this to me.”

Jenna snorts a laugh and puts her book aside.  Instead of making some snarky comment about how she’s nothing short of a blessing in Josh’s life – it’s true, but that’s beside the point – she jumps off her bed and pads over on stocking feet to sit on his stomach.  Her voice is a singsong when she says, tapping him on the tip of his nose, “You’re just mad because you’re in love with Tyler.”

If doing so wouldn’t fling Jenna across the room to her certain death, Josh would have sat straight up.  As it is, he still almost gives himself whiplash turning his head to look at her with wide eyes.  “I am _not_!” he cries, near panic.  His heart is pounding so hard in his chest it actually hurts.  “What are you talking about?”

“Honey,” she sighs, but it’s said through a grin and gentle fingers tugging the tangles out of his hair, so it doesn’t sound as condescending as it could.  “It’s okay.  I encouraged you to go to the dance with Tyler because I thought it might help you sort yourself out.  And from the looks of these—”  She grabs his hand, gesturing to where his fingernails are bitten bloody, the white polish nearly all picked off.  “—I’d say you did.”

There are so many things he could say, so many things he _needs_ to say, but what Josh settles on is an incredulous, “He’s your boyfriend!”

Jenna smiles down at him, her hair a blonde halo around her face.  “And you’re his best friend,” she reminds him, like he’s missing the point.  Quite frankly, Josh thinks _Jenna_ is the one missing the point.  “Hell, you’re _my_ best friend, you know that, right?  And somewhere between spending all our holiday breaks together and crying into each other’s shirts, I realized that there isn’t much difference between the two.”  

“So what are you saying?” Josh chokes out.  There’s a giant lump in his throat, but at least his heart isn’t trying to kick a hole through his chest anymore.  He’ll take what he can get.  “Because I’m lost, Jen.”

“I’m saying I want you to be happy,” she says simply, drumming her fingers lightly over his shoulders.  “And I want Tyler to be happy.  And you guys are happiest when you’re together.”  Then she shrugs.  “We all are.”

Let it never be said that Josh is anything but a fucking idiot, because he takes the relief coursing through his veins and the warmth crawling up into his throat and the beautiful girl perched on his stomach and turns them into one final, strangled cry of, “But he’s your _boyfriend!_ ”

Jenna throws her hands into the air, giggling in a mixture of disbelief and frustration.  “And I’m his _girlfriend_ , stupid!  And yet I’m still going to do _this_ ,” she exclaims and that’s all the warning Josh gets before she leans down to kiss him right on the mouth.

It takes Josh a couple seconds to catch up, for his brain to realize that Jenna is _kissing him_ , but when it all sinks in, his eyes slide closed and he presses forward, responding as best he can.  When she finally pulls away, her blue eyes are bright and there’s a pretty pink blush rising on her cheeks.  It takes Josh’s breath away.

“Shit,” he says succinctly, letting his head fall back against the carpet.  “ _Shit_.”

“More?”

“Yes, please.”

That’s how Tyler finds them, sprawled across Jenna’s bedroom floor with hands tangled in hair and happy noises getting lost between lips.  “Who’s ready to—” he starts, voice bright with enthusiasm, before the question dies in his mouth at the scene before him.  “O- _kay_.”

Wracked with guilt and on the edge of hysteria and possibly tears, Josh shoves Jenna off of him and falls all over himself apologizing to Tyler, hands shaking where he has them clasped in his lap.  It’s only when he’s gotten to his feet and is standing before his best friend with his head hung in shame that he realizes Tyler is laughing.  He’s _laughing_. 

Josh’s eyes are huge.  “What’s so funny?” he cries, feeling more confused and out of his element than he has in his entire life.  “Why are you laughing?”

“ _Dude_ ,” Tyler says, stepping forward to press the back of his hand against Josh’s burning cheek.  It’s soothing.  “Do you love her?”

“W-what?”

“Jenna,” Tyler insists, flinging a hand out toward his girlfriend as if Josh could have forgotten who Jenna was in the last ten seconds.  “Do you love her?”

It should sound like a loaded question, like a test or a challenge, but Tyler’s smiling and he’s so close now Josh could press their noses together if he wanted.  The room is quiet and safe and no one seems to be angry, so Josh swallows the spit stuck in the back of his throat and nods quickly and decisively. 

“Yeah,” he admits, because it’s true.  Because Jenna’s right, just like she always is.  Josh has loved them both for so long that titles like _boyfriend_ and _best friend_ are so tangled up they’re meaningless.  No single word can sum up their history, hold all of the _stay with me_ and _let’s go for a drive_ and _I need you_ , so they shouldn’t even try.  Josh isn’t going to try anymore.  “I do.”

“Me too,” Tyler says, eyes crinkled with delight.  “And _you’re_ pretty cool, too.”

This time Josh is ready for the lips that press against his, eagerly meeting Tyler in the middle.  They’re at a weird angle before they fix it and Tyler’s lips are chapped from a nasty spring cold, but it’s perfect.  It’s not at all what Josh imagined at the dance last week, but it’s real and it’s happening and Josh is so happy he wants to cry.

So he does, unabashedly sniffling and letting a couple tears skate down his cheeks as he pulls away from Tyler.  “Sorry,” he coughs even though he’s really not.  “At least it’s not homeostasis this time.”

Tyler grabs Josh’s hand and doesn’t let go.

Unfortunately, it’s still finals week and they still have tons of shit to do, so they trade in kissing for textbooks, only getting up from the floor long enough to grab food from Jenna’s mini fridge or use the bathroom.  Jenna pulls out _The Sleep Book_ for a quick study break, sitting cross-legged in the middle of her bed.

“The news just came in from the County of Keck,” she reads around the elastic tucked in her teeth as she swoops her hair up into a bun on top of her head.  Josh lets his notebook fall closed and curls up with his head in Tyler’s lap to listen.  “That a very small bug by the name of Van Vleck is yawning so wide you can look down his neck.”

As Van Vleck’s yawn spreads across the entire world, infecting creatures of all shapes and sizes, Tyler’s fingers fiddle with Josh’s hair, twirling sections of it until they bounce back to their former position.  It’s like nothing has changed, like they weren’t kissing mere hours ago, and that more than anything brings Josh comfort.

He’s exactly where he’s supposed to be.

“When you put out your light,” Jenna reads, finally turning to the last page, “the number will be ninety-nine zillion, nine trillion, and three.”

“That’s a lot of sleeping people,” Tyler remarks off-handedly, giving Josh one last comforting pat on the head before he goes back to his textbooks.  Josh just hums in answer, turning over to hide his face in Tyler’s stomach.  He’s done for the day – he just wants to nap.

Tyler props his notebook on Josh’s butt and Josh lets him.

_-_-_-_

 

They only get three days together before graduation, so they make the best of them, pooling their change for tacos one evening, burgers the next, and ice cream the last.  They spend every night huddled together in a pile of sleeping bags and pillows on Josh’s floor, falling asleep holding hands and resolutely ignoring Mark’s teasing laughter when they wake up the same way.

“I should’ve known three of you would be even worse than two,” he says from his top bunk, shaking his head in feigned disgust.  “You’re a bunch of fucking weirdos, but I’m happy for you.”

Josh is, too.

The very last night before graduation is for packing and cleaning and checking out, but Josh and his friends go camping instead.  The pile of bedding moves from Josh’s floor to the trunk of Jenna’s car, along with Michael’s hiking tent and four bottles of bug spray.  There aren’t any campsites in the area so they drive to the closest forest preserve, ignoring the sign that screams OPEN FROM SUNRISE TO SUNSET and pitching their tent a couple yards from the creek bed.  The water level is down but it still bubbles quietly, making _plink_ -ing noises when Tyler throws pebbles from the bank.

“This is nice,” he says and Josh agrees.  It’s really easy to pretend that real life and graduation and adulthood don’t exist when you’re bathed in moonlight and surrounded by nothing but trees and people you care about.  He never wants to leave.  He wants to live out here. 

“I want to live out here,” he says because he just can’t help himself.  “Let’s never go back.”

“Deal.”  That one’s Jenna, head tipped back to stare up at the stars.  Josh thinks she’s the only person on earth that’s nearly as beautiful as they are.

It’s too cold to stay outside for long, so they end up snuggled together in the tent, Jenna’s extra sweaters draped around their shoulders for warmth.  They eat an entire package of Oreos and start in on a bag of pretzels before they call it a night, settling back into their sleeping bags with full stomachs and fuller hearts.

“What if I failed my classes?” Tyler whispers from where he’s tucked between Josh and Jenna, his knees bent and pointing up at the ceiling of the tent.  “What if I get up there tomorrow and they hand me an empty diploma?  My mom will kill me.”

A pang of sympathy pulls at Josh’s chest.  “You’re actually worried about this, aren’t you?” he asks, voice quiet.  He turns over to press his mouth to Tyler’s shoulder, lips rasping against the material of his hoodie.  “Like, this isn’t a joke anymore, is it?”

Tyler sighs, deep and long.  “If I manage to graduate college it’ll be the first thing I’ve ever fucking finished in my life.  I don’t have a great track record of seeing things through.”

Silence hangs in the air for a few moments, Josh’s lips at Tyler’s shoulder and Jenna’s hand rubbing absently at his belly.  Finally Josh speaks up, a blush rising in his cheeks as he tells him, “You saw _this_ through, Ty.”  He gestures around the tent, hoping it encompasses him and Jenna and the past four years.  “And no matter what they hand you tomorrow, me and Jenna are really proud of you.  I know that sounds cliché, but I mean it.”

“I love you,” Tyler says for the very first time and it makes Josh’s body flood with heat and an embarrassing squeak fall out of his mouth.  He tries to muffle it in Tyler’s sweatshirt, but he can tell from the way his friends giggle and _aww_ that it didn’t work very well.

He doesn’t care.

“Love you, too!” he cries, too loud in the small tent.  “So much.”

Josh laces his fingers with Jenna’s on top of Tyler’s stomach and falls asleep to the steady rhythm of their heartbeats.

_-_-_-_

 

Jenna gets her final Dean’s List distinction, Tyler gets a real diploma, and Josh gets so many hugs from his little sisters he thinks his arms are going to fall off.  He doesn’t mind, though – they’re proud of him and happy that he’s coming back home, so he accepts every single hug they offer, his face pressed into soft, red hair.  When the minivan is finally packed with all of his stuff, he excuses himself from his family just long enough to sprint to the next lot over.  He skids to a stop in front of Jenna’s car, piled to the ceiling with everything she owns and a little bit of what Tyler owns, too.  They’re ready to head out.

Without a word, Josh kisses them each in turn, pressing first Jenna against the side of her car and then Tyler.  Jenna gives as good as she gets, taking him by the shoulders and flipping their position until Josh is the one with his back against the window, breath stuttering in his lungs. 

Tyler, on the other hand, clings.  He takes handfuls of Josh’s t-shirt and doesn’t let go until well after they’ve stopped kissing.  His eyes are red and very, very wet when he says, “Me and Jenna have an apartment picked out.  It’s only three hours from your house, okay?”  He wipes his eyes with the sleeve of his sweatshirt.  “Promise you’ll come see us?”

“Of course,” Josh promises, putting a hand on each of Tyler’s cheeks and thumbing the tears away.  “I’ll be there so often the neighbors will talk.”

Finally, _finally_ Tyler cracks a smile.  “I hope they do.”

“There’s always room for you,” Jenna says seriously, reaching over take Josh’s hand in both of hers.  “Whenever you like.  And if you ever decide you wanna deal with us on a more daily basis, just give us a call.”

When the full meaning of her words sinks in, Josh’s eyes go wide.  His hand trembles between Jenna’s palms.  “You mean, like—?”

“Yeah,” she offers, smile small and private.  “If we all fit in a twin bed, imagine how much more comfortable we’ll be in a king.”

“Oh _gosh_ ,” he chokes out and lets his head fall onto her shoulder.  He’s never felt so loved and accepted and wanted in his life.  “I’ll keep that in mind.”

If he had his way he’d stand there forever, wedged between his best boy and his best girl, but Josh’s family is waiting impatiently and aren’t above shouting embarrassing things across the parking lot.  So Josh pecks his friends on the mouth one last time and offers a quick _I love you_ before he runs off, glancing back once or twice because he just can’t help it.

Climbing into the minivan is a chore, weighed down by the ache in his chest and the longing in his heart.  The chattering of his family can only distract him for so long and by the time the sun starts to set, Josh has made up his mind.

He’s only fifty miles from home when he dials Tyler’s number.

**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr is arolou :) shoot me a message if you want


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